Typical Day on the Road

February 2008

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Feb. 1

Back to Homestead, FL. to let our aching muscles recuperate from the last few days. We took our computers into the Homestead Library to set up our office today.

Feb. 2

We'd originally planned to see the Everglades today, but decided to stick around the Homestead/Florida City area because of a couple of events going on there. The first was the annual chili cook-off, which didn't terribly interest us vegetarians, although we were pleased to see that a couple of the contestants did have vegetarian samples available, and one of them actually bent the rules and gave us a free sample. (Technically, you're supposed to pay 5 bucks for a wristband so you can sample them all.) It was excellent stuff!

What really drew us to this event, however, was not the cuisine but the outhouse race that accompanies it. Specially (and in some cases, rather artistically) designed outhouses on wheels competed in a race through an obstacle course, with two teammates pushing the "vehicle", and the third riding on the toilet seat inside and stuffing rolls of tissue onto poles along the way. Competition was held in heats of two until finally only the winner was left sitting. This year, it was a trio from a realty company that really had some incredibly swift and accurate maneuvers. And their outhouse was charming too, going with a Valentine's Day motif.

That evening, we attended the Mardi Gras parade in Old Town Homestead. Not a huge event in comparison to Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Mobile, but not bad for a town this size.

Feb. 3

Super Bowl Sunday, but did we care? Don't bet on it! Instead of sitting in front of a TV, we did two very interesting activities. This morning we did a tour of the Coral Castle, which was built by an eccentric Latvian immigrant named Ed Leedskalnin, who never recovered from being rejected by his sweetheart earlier in his life, and constructed this incredible complex as a tribute to her. He began construction in 1923 and continued modifying it until his death in 1951. It's a feat comparable to Stonhenge because the structure is composed of many blocks of coral, some weighing several tons, and he did it all by himself -- even though he was only 5 feet tall, weighing only 100 pounds! Nobody is certain exactly how he accomplished some of these tasks, because nobody ever saw him actually working on it! What's even more amazing is that he built it originally in Florida City, and then transported it to Homestead! Nobody knows exactly how he did this either. But one thing's for certain -- he was an engineering genius who could have made revolutionary breakthroughs if only he hadn't focused so much on being brokenhearted. He was also, by the way, a recycling pioneer; he fashioned his own tools from scrap materials, and used salvaged items, particularly auto parts, both in tool-making and in castle construction.

This afternoon, it was on to the Everglades, where we took a bike tour through Shark Valley Park (sharks???), a 15-mile loop on which we counted 107 alligators, in addition to numerous turtles and fowl. The gators ranged in length from about 6 inches to 6 or 7 feet, and some came up very close to the road. And we thought we had a great enounter on the way to Key Largo!

We then began driving toward Naples, and along the way pulled off at a campground hoping to be able to dump our tanks. We found no such facilities there, but we did find some folks we'd met a week ago at the Families on the Road (FOTR) rally up in Port Canaveral. Small world when you're constantly moving in it!

Feb. 4

Naples, FL. Our vacation-by-default is just about over, and it's time to buckle down to work again.

Feb. 5

Still in Naples. Spent most of the day at our "office", Panera, although Zephyr took advantage of the nearby movie theater to see the new "Rambo". He's a glutton for punishment.

Also nearby is a Wild Oats store, the first we've seen in some time, and it was a welcome sight with the long Trader Joe's withdrawal we've been experiencing. But it also may be the last we see, as Wild Oats stores are now becoming Whole Foods Markets. Just one big happy family -- will the day come when we all buy our groceries and get our hair cut at Exxon?

Feb. 6

Left Naples behind and began heading north, toward our next performance -- yes, we still do those, although one might not guess it from the past couple of weeks. Along the way, we stopped in Port Charlotte at -- would you believe -- another Panera.

Feb. 7

In Venice, FL. and we holed up at yet another Panera -- the third one in as many days. We're going for Guinness here. But sometimes it's hard to tell when you're in a new Panera because the shopping centers they're located in all look pretty much the same: Publix, Target, Books-A-Million, Staples, Michael's, etc., etc. Maybe it's just our imagination, or maybe it's just 15 years of being on the road, but it seems that there's a trend toward more and more such homogeneity.

Feb. 8

Palmetto, FL. After picking up mail, we did two performances at Tillman Elementary, a return engagement. If memory serves correctly, the last time we were here, we performed "The Dragon of Krakow" -- and somehow the dragon got left out in his lair, and Dennis had to sneak out the back during the performance and bring him in discreetly. Otherwise, our dragon might have been invisible that time around. Phew! That's the kind of close call you hope never happens again.

And in the evening, we had to dash off some email, so we went to our fourth Panera in as many days. The legend builds.

Feb. 9

Today, we broke our streak. Rather than work on our computers, we went swimming with manatees. This time of year, they wander inland and nest in certain rivers in Florida, including the Crystal River, where we went to rent a kayak -- and some wetsuits, having learned a lesson when we went snorkeling. We met up with several other families there as well -- most of whom we'd seen last month at the FOTR rally.

We saw at least half a dozen manatees at close range. Each of them weighs a ton or so, and when something that size starts moving toward you, the impulse is to scramble out of the way. But these are extremely gentle beasts, and even a bit timid, though sometimes it's possible to actually touch them. One swam very close to us when we were in the water, and another swam directly under our kayak when we were in it. But mostly they just lay there on the bottom, taking it easy. But even that provided some good viewing opportunities, because the water was shallow and extremely clear.

We also witnessed two very large turtles locked in mortal combat in the water -- it was the fastest we've ever seen turtles move. This was not near the manatees, but "around the corner", through a little channel full of rapids, to a cul-de-sac containing the spring that feeds the river. This spring was at the bottom of a pit about 20 feet deep, in contrast to the 3 to 4 foot depth of the area around it; and this pit was a popular hangout for some tightly-knit schools of fish, and again the water was clear enough to provide very good viewing through our masks. Some of the kids, including Zephyr, dived down into the pit along with one of the dads who had an underwater camera, and hopefully we'll get a copy of the shot he took of all of them together.

Now you may be wondering about the freshwater reptile that Florida is famous for, and that has an undeserved reputation for viciousness. But gators were nowhere to be found. In fact, the man who runs the kayak rental business says that in 20 years of boating this river, he's encountered only two of the critters -- and that was in the summer. They just don't care for the chilly waters in this neck of the woods.

Tonight we stayed at the same campground as a family from the FOTR gathering who also did the swim today. We had dinner at their house, one of those elegantly rounded, silver Airstream trailers.

Feb. 10

Clermont, FL. We resumed the string of Paneras, making it our fourth in five days. And then we met up with another FOTR family for dinner.

Feb. 11

Up very early to drop off Zephyr at the Orlando airport. This is getting to be a habit. He's going to Massachusetts to spend a week visiting friends. And meanwhile mom and dad hit the fifth Panera in six days.

Feb. 12

In Altamonte Springs this morning, doing some work at -- you guessed it -- another Panera, the sixth in seven days (or was that the seventh in six days). Then saying goodbye to Orlando and vicinity, and indeed goodbye to Florida, for this time around. We've been in one state for two months, which must be some kind of record for us.

Feb. 13

Macon, GA. and the run to the championship continues with the 7th Panera in 8 days. We have a feeling we're not in Florida anymore -- it's suddenly feeling more like winter is supposed to feel. On the other hand, perhaps it's a good thing we got out when we did, because we learn that the Sunshine State, including the Orlando area, was hit by tornadoes and thunderstorms just hours after we left.

Feb. 14

We could have gone to another Panera today, in Newnan, which we passed right through. But instead we went on to the actual destination for the day. And one of us didn't know what that was going to be until we got there. As a Valentine's Day surprise, Dennis left a trail of heart-shaped clues for Kimberly to follow, leading to a set of coordinates to which the GPS would lead us, until we arrived at... Historic Banning Mills, near the town of Whitesburg. A century ago, there was a paper mill here on Snake Creek. Now, it stands in ruins; but up on the bluff overlooking it is a scenic resort, a picturesque lodge where weddings and retreats and conferences of all sorts can be held. Across the creek is an RV campground, where Dennis secretly booked a couple of nights. At first, it didn't look very promising; it appeared that the campground was closed. But only part of it was, and the rest of it proved to be quite satisfactory.

After we were settled into our site, we dragged out the bikes and took the rather strenuous ride up to the lodge; it's only a mile or so, but quite a challenging course, not for the timid. There's no bike path, merely a rocky and very hilly dirt road, plus some dirt foot paths, and even steps that required carrying the bikes at times. But it was quite a suitable environment for biking, and the lodge was a series of cabins overlooking the creek, plus the lobby, a large, quaint hardwood structure that appeared, by its design and decor, to have been a renovated antique building. How surprised we were when we learned that in fact it was built and opened only recently, to replace the previous facility, which was destroyed by fire. They really did a marvelous job with this thing -- and it's all a family operation! In addition to such old-fashioned furnishings as a pump organ and rocking chairs, there was an antique pool table with heavy-duty wooden legs carved in the animal claw fashion, such as they haven't made in about a million years, just calling out for us to play a couple of games. And so we took turns beating each other, both shooting with comparable incompetence.

All in all, a very appropriate place to spend Valentine's Day. But the real adventure -- the main reason we came here -- was saved for tomorrow.

Feb. 15

So today we biked back to the Historic Banning Mills lobby and signed in, along with 6 other people, for what they call the Canopy Tour. This consists basically of two activities: one is climbing up into trees and walking across perilously narrow wooden bridges and in some cases even single cables; and then the real bomb, an incredible series of ziplines. If you're not familiar with ziplines, they're cables you slide down for unbelievable distances at insane speeds. We'd heard about them before, but we'd always pictured them as essentially just paralleling the side of a hill, a few feet high. We never in our wildest dreams imagined that we'd end up leaping off a 60-ft. tower and soaring through the air over 200 ft. high at speeds of up to 60 mph. But that's exactly what happened.

In fact, we began the tour with such a tower plunge, the first of four ziplines we'd do during the day, and the one that actually looked the scariest from the ground. First we assembled at the base to be issued our safety gear: a helmet (in case a tree branch falls on your head, or you brush your scalp against the cable), a pulley that fits securely over the cable, a pair of "crab claws", which resemble handcuffs on rope, and fit over the cable as a backup in case something should happen to the pulley, and a heavy pair of gloves in case you need to grab the cable -- sometimes you need to slow down as you approach the end, for instance. The guides who stand there to catch you can tolerate only so many bruises. And we were assured that we don't have to worry about the cable breaking, as it's designed to hold 43,000 lbs.

Then it was up to the top of the tower and we got ready to fly. Kimberly was first in line, and after only a moment's hesitation, was underway on a 22-second airborne journey to the opposite bank of the creek, hootin' and hollerin' the entire way. Dennis was up next, but he butted heads with his chronic acrophobia; while he had no fear of the jump itself, he was light-headed and winded just from being up that high. So he stepped back and let two more people go while he composed himself. Then he was back to the platform, and off. And from that second on, it was nothing but sheer exhiliration for the duration of the 3-hour tour.

We did three more ziplines during the day, the last of which was from another tower (and these towers, by the way, were built specifically for this purpose), across the creek again -- this one, stretching 1700 feet and achieving a maximum height of 220 feet, is supposed to be one of the longest, fastest, highest, most wet-your-pants ziplines in the world. And we concluded with a series of bridges and highwire walks, up to 100 feet high or so, and again going over the beautiful babbling creek, which we swear is actually a river in disguise.

One fellow in his sixties named Steve (he and his wife had arrived to check in at the lodge after our tour was already in progress, and noticing these crazy folks having such a good time by soaring high over their heads, decided to join us, and rushed to catch up before even checking into their cabin) lost his balance on one of the highwire crossings, and dangled upside down for a moment until one of the guides came out to help him upright again. As he made his way to the end of the cable, he yelled to the rest of us, "I hope somebody got a picture". We told him not to worry -- ALL of us got PLENTY of pictures. And if our video camera hadn't already been full, he might have ended up on "America's Funniest Home Videos" or some such.

All things considered, there are worse things we could have done on a Friday afternoon. Our son, who is still in Massachusetts, no doubt will be green with envy when he finds out what he's missed. But he might get his chance, as we intend to come back. Who knows, it might even become an annual tradition.

Watch Kimberly Ziplining on YouTube

Feb. 16

After the ho-hum events of yesterday, we decided we'd really liven things up by going to another Panera and doing computer work.

Feb. 17

This morning we were in Atlanta, and for the first time in two months, we patronized a (hip hip hooray) TRADER JOE'S!!! Then, gluttons for punishment that we are, we sought out another Panera. Tonight we headed to the airport to pick up Zephyr, who returned from Massachusetts. His flight was delayed by an hour or more because of thunderstorms (even tornadoes in this neck of the woods). And once he finally landed, after midnight, there was a big delay in getting his luggage. So it was a long night for the Gozas.

Feb. 18

A long day of driving, from Atlanta to Memphis. But we made it in excellent time, thanks in part to gaining an hour. Had a considerable delay, however at a Pilot in Mississippi, where we deposited 70 bucks inside at the counter, then went out to pump gas. The pump clicked off at 60 dollars, which didn't sound like enough to fill it. Nonetheless Dennis went in for change, and was told that we had none coming, as we had only paid 60 to begin with. But he insisted that it was 70, so then we had to wait for them to do an audit of the register before we could get our money back, and they took their sweet time about it.

Anyway, we still pulled into Memphis by late afternoon and had a chance to do some Internet work at Atlanta Bread Company. Ha, fooled you! You thought we were going to say Panera, didn't you?

Feb. 19

Visited the home of Dennis' parents in Arkansas.

Feb. 20

Still visiting Dennis' folks in Arkansas.

Feb. 21

Said goodbye to Dennis' parents and started our trek toward Texas, site of our next engagement. Stopped in Conway, AR. (where we have a return appearance scheduled at the library this summer) to do some online work at San Francisco Bread Company -- which, despite the large scenic photos of The City displayed on the walls, is not very San Francisco at all. The breads, tea and coffee, as well as the general atmosphere, are distinctly Southern/Midwestern rather than West Coast. And the TV (which a San Francisco cafe probably wouldn't even have) was locked on that comically blatant spin machine calling itself Fox News (which in the first few minutes we were there referred to Michael Moore as a "so-called documentary filmmaker" and noted that Barack Obama was drawing the kind of crowd enthusiasm that "Chairman Mao could only dream about"). That's about as un-San Francisco as you can get.

We were joined by Dennis' sister, whom we took to dinner at the Chili's nearby. We keep forgetting that Chili's has very little to offer vegetarians except bean burgers. But K & Z were happy with those. And Dennis persuaded the cooks to substitute portobello mushrooms for chicken in the quesadillas. And his sister was happy to chow down on cow, so all turned out well.

Feb. 22

Still in Conway, and we spent the morning at SF Bread Company (as it were). About noon we were joined by a FOTR family that we've met before and have been in touch with. Though they are on the road much of the time, they also have a home in Arkansas, that they were just getting back to after being away for a year.

We then drove to Hot Springs; and pulling into the parking lot at the Visitors Center, we filled some jugs with hot mineral water and took baths with it in our own tub, thus saving perhaps 200 bucks over what we would have spent going to one of the local spas. And then we refilled the jugs -- this stuff is great for drinking, too. The water, however, seems not to be as hot as it was last time we were here.

We note with dismay that A Prairie Home Companion is coming to town for only the second time ever -- in April, when we'll be on the West Coast. (In the show's first performance here, Garrison Keillor referred to this colorful little city as "the loose buckle on the Bible Belt".)

Feb. 23

Still in Hot Springs this morning, we visited "our" YMCA, the one where we signed up for membership three (or was it four?) years ago. It's very strange, after attending so many YMCAs across the country and usually having to fill out paperwork as guests, to be able to walk in and just run our cards through the scanner. But then you feel silly asking where the locker room is because you don't remember.

We'd contemplated staying in town long enough for Dennis to drop in at Oaklawn for a while. Once upon a time, he was an avid horse racing fan, and during our first couple of years on the road, he tried to see how many tracks across the country he could make an appearance at. But Oaklawn is one of the few he never set foot inside, since we were never in town during racing season -- until now. But having a great deal of driving ahead of us, we decided to just head toward Houston. En route, while Kimberly was stuck behind the wheel, the guys played a game of chess. It was the first time Zephyr beat his dad, and it was surely the closest game in history: D was left with only his king, while Z was left with only his king and a pawn.

Feb. 24

Began our Sunday by shopping for groceries at Fiesta, a regional supermarket chain that has a fascinating assortment of international foods. Among other things, we bought the ingredients for homemade lasagna. Then we went to visit another FOTR family, where we made and ate the lasagna (it turned out quite well, thank you), played a game call Qwitch (quite fun, thank you) and watched the Oscars (quite entertaining, thanks).

Feb. 25

Lingered for half the day at the home of our hosts, making use of the wi-fi, then drove on to a Panera to do some more wi-fi. Wheee!!

Feb. 26

Bellville, TX., where we had two shows at a school today. Originally they were scheduled for early morning and early afternoon, but we talked them into switching to two afternoon performances (thereby saving themselves a layover fee). So this morning, we pulled up next to a park in the middle of town, where there was an electrical outlet right there installed just for our convenience. Nearby was the public library, and Dennis was able to lighten our load by a couple of pounds by dropping off 5 books and 2 audiobooks for the library's book sale.

Bellville turned out to be a surprisingly classic American town built around a central square with some western-town type buildings, making the whole thing look like a set for the Andy Griffith show or some such. There were even some enticing antique stores which were, alas, closed on Tuesdays.

After our two shows, we started our gradual trek westward, ending up in the outskirts of Austin.

Feb. 27

This morning, Dennis was taking a walk near a shopping center and was about to cross a busy street when he noticed a car stalled in the lane on the other side. The woman driving got out and started trying to push the car, so he rushed over to help her. They managed to get the car out of the street and into the parking lot of Sam's Club, where a truck driver jumped out of his cab and joined the effort. They pushed the vehicle WAAAAY to the other side of the lot, where the gas pumps awaited. The woman said she was on her way to a job interview and was about to turn into the lot to fill up when the engine died. It was only a brief delay in spite of everything, so hopefully she still made it to the interview on time.

We bought a few items at Whole Foods, which alas did not have wi-fi as we'd hoped. Whole Foods is a decent alternative to Trader Joe's, though it has not been (as far as we're concerned) quite as good an alternative as Wild Oats. And now the two have merged, and our jury is still out on the result. One thing we've noticed is that the chain has become even more environmentally conscious than ever, eliminating plastic bags and reducing paper usage by dividing the text of receipts so they can be printed on both sides of the paper.

We'd hoped to use today to catch up on one of the Oscar movies we'd missed, but the nearby Gateway Cinema was showing a grand total of zero of them. But since we were already in a movie mood (we hadn't been to one in some time) we decided on "Vantage Point", which had a rich cast and a very promising premise: terrorists attempt to assasinate the president, and several different witnesses each retain bits of evidence, so the event is replayed several times, from each character's vantage point, a la Alexandria Quartet. But what starts out as an intriguing whodunit and whydunit suddenly degenerates into an overkill of violence and the most protracted, excessive and excessively unbelievable car chase sequence ever filmed. Only the teenager among us was pleased.

Later on we went to the local YMCA for a workout and to do our Internet work -- there was a computer room where we could plug in our laptops and access the wi-fi. It was, however, a bit difficult to concentrate, because a church service was being noisily conducted over our heads.

Feb. 28

Still in Austin, we took our laptops into a library to set up our office for the day.

Feb. 29

Spent part of the day in Austin, then drove to Fort Worth.

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