Typical Day on the Road

December 2007

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Dec. 1

A long day of driving, this time with Dennis doing the honors so Kimberly could work on her computer. We took a detour in Charlotte, NC (our first time ever to be in this city) to hit the last Trader Joe's we'll see for at least a couple of months. TJ territory is still expanding, but hasn't made it to Florida yet. In fact, it's only very recently that stores have opened in Charlotte and Atlanta. Before that, they didn't go farther south than Maryland!

We made a stop in the little town of Harlem, GA (just outside Augusta) because it's the birthplace of Oliver Hardy, and home of the Laurel and Hardy Museum. (The water tower even has their picture on it.) It was closed by the time we got there, and we'd planned on hanging around to see it tomorrow, but the sign on the door indicated that it wasn't even open on Sunday. So we just admired the collection of mementoes through the window, and then pressed onward.

Dec. 2

In Eatonton, GA., which, we learned, is the hometown of Alice Walker. We already knew it was also the birthplace of Joel Chandler Harris, and we stopped by the Uncle Remus Museum this morning. It didn't open until 2:00, and we couldn't stick around that long, because we still had about 150 miles to do. But it was a quaint little building constructed from two slave cabins, and the grounds featured several tributes to B'rer Rabbit and company.

Stopped in Macon to spend some time online, then on down to Bonaire to hit the YMCA, where we hoped to stretch our muscles and grab a shower before driving more. We were able to do the former, but not the latter -- this facility has workout equipment, but no showers, and even no locker rooms! So we had to use our own shower in the RV, which we generally reserve for just such an emergency.

Dec. 3

Georgia! The 45th state in which we've performed, as of today. We debuted with 3 performances at Bailey Elementary in Tifton, then (after stopping at a Staples to send a fax that will be added to the mountain of paperwork for our upcoming Florida gigs) headed to a campground just a few miles away, as we'll be returning to the school the next two days to teach some workshops.

Dec. 4

A full day of teaching workshops at the school, so we were all dragging a bit when day was done, as none of us got into bed before midnight last night. That'll teach us!

Dec. 5

Another half day of teaching workshops, and then we were done at Bailey School. They gave us a bagful of Georgia gifts, including boiled peanuts and grits. Cool! Then we drove to Jacksonville, FL. On the way, we saw the immediate aftermath of a traffic accident: a car had just flipped over on its top.

Dec. 6

Another early morning show, the fourth day in a row that we've had to be early risers -- this time at a school in Jacksonville Beach, FL. Afterward, we headed to a Panera for lunch to meet with a couple who work in real estate, and are planning to hit the road with their kids, so they wanted to meet us and talk to us about it. (We're still getting used to the idea that we are the ultimate experts on the topic of living on the road, but the fact is, we have been for years!) We've been in Panera restaurants dozens (hundreds?) of times during the past couple of years, and we do believe this is the first time we've ever done so without taking in our laptops. We went in just to eat lunch! Strange!

Then we headed on down toward Cape Canaveral, because a shuttle launch was scheduled for later this afternoon. (We watched the ill-fated Columbia go up in 2003, and were hoping to catch another launch without jinxing it this time.) But en route, we learned that the launch has been postponed until tomorrow. So we headed on into Orlando, thinking we could backtrack tomorrow after an appointment there.

We had to stop off in Winter Park to work out at the YMCA, perhaps our favorite in the whole country (except maybe one in a suburb of Detroit). Then we headed to the nearby Whole Foods to fill our water jugs. And next to it is Tijuana Flats, a great place to pick up some burritos for dinner. Tijuana Flats is a chain of about 60 restaurants, but this is the original. Not only are the burritos good, but the hot sauces are (almost literally) to die for. There's quite a variety available, ranging in intensity from Sissy Sauce to Middle Weight to Tear Jerker to Death Wish. With names like Betrayal, Endorphin Rush and Da Bomb, these sauces are irresistible, even if it means you have to keep a tray of ice cubes handy.

Dec. 7

A day we've been really looking forward to -- especially Zephyr. We had an interview at Disney to be considered as performers at the theme parks on a temporary basis. We also interviewed last year, but learned that there is a minimum commitment of 8 weeks, and we were not available for that length of time. But this year, we can swing it. So we were interviewed, including Zephyr -- at first we were told that he wouldn't be able to work because he's a minor, but upon further inquiry, we learned that he might be eligible for some positions including possibly, just maybe, performing as Jack Sparrow, which is his big dream right now. The interview went well, and we were scheduled for an audition on Thursday. Everybody cross your fingers.

The shuttle again was delayed another day, and we won't be able to go see it tomorrow because of another commitment.

While Mom and Dad did some Christmas shopping at Downtown Disney, Zephyr went to see the new film version of "The Golden Compass", and gave it a pretty favorable review.

Dec. 8

After practicing a dance routine to prepare us for the Disney audition, we headed to the Royal Palms Hotel and Convention Center in Kissimmee to work at a Christmas party. There is a special exhibit/ event going on in the convention center called "Ice!" -- a wintertime exhibit sculpted from thousands of pounds of ice, an interactive exhibit kept at 9 degrees Fahrenheit. Attendees are provided with parkas, but we'd almost welcome going through it without such gear, given the summertime weather we've been seeing in Orlando. In any case, we do intend to come back and see it.

Dec. 9

We drove toward Cape Canaveral hoping once again to catch the shuttle launch, which again has been postponed. On the way, we learned that it has been rescheduled for Jan. 2nd. So we just headed to Cocoa Beach and stopped in at Ron Jon's, the amazing (and pricey) 24-hour surf shop. Zephyr costumed himself as Jack Sparrow once again and Dennis took a dip in the ocean, which was warmer now than the water in Salem, MA is during the summer.

Dec. 10

It's official: the shuttle launch has been postponed at least until Jan. 2. And while we're disappointed, we're also relieved -- if there are this many glitches and false starts, it's clear that NASA is not ready for a shuttle launch any time soon, particularly given the two disasters that have already occurred.

We spent some time getting online at an ice cream shop with 44 flavors of ice cream and a life-sized poster of Capt. Jack Sparrow that Zephyr drooled over. It's just across the street from The Dinosaur Store, which has the largest assortment of dinosaur fossils for sale that we've ever encountered.

Tonight, after the temperature had dropped a bit, we practiced some dance routines to be better prepared for the upcoming audition for Disney.

Dec. 11

A day of running (around in circles) errands. We inquired at Sears about getting a front-end alignment, but no go. Then we stopped at a Circuit City, where Dennis took in his ailing laptop, but was told it would have to be sent off for a month or so. (After we walked out, it apparently made a miraculous recovery!)

Found a trailer place where we bought some tires for our trailer. The mechanics had difficulty getting the nuts off because the last place we bought tires (in Oklahoma) put them on too tight. Plus one of the studs was broken, and had to be cut off and replaced.

It was also time for grocery shopping, so we hit a Publix supermarket, which is more or less the best alternative to Trader Joe's in Florida.

After several inquiries, we located a place to buy propane, and while the attendant had no trouble filling our tank, he couldn't tell how much he was filling because his gauge was broken. It seems that virtually every place we go for propane has technical difficulties. What are the odds?

We stumbled upon a "laundromat and lottery" place (so you can get your shirt clean before you lose it?) so we stopped to wash clothes, and by then the day was over except for our dance practice again.

Dec. 12

Started driving back to Orlando, along a stretch of freeway through swampland that looked as if we might see an alligator pop out at any moment. Instead, we passed a farm or two in unlikely locations, with cows grazing. Do they ever have a problem with cows being attacked by alligators? (Alligator attacks on humans, like shark attacks, are extremely rare, but of course when they do occur they make big headlines.)

Along the way, we stopped at a Home Depot, and acquired some hardware that we needed for repairs. So when we landed in Orlando at a place to get online, Kimberly was determined to replace a ripped screen before going inside. (Our RV repair manual, supposedly the best available, has a total of one paragraph about this task, beginning with the sentence "Replacing a screen is very easy.") Nearly two hours later, we finally had the mission accomplished.

The Sears store nearby had a promising assortment of shirts to use in our shows (we've been looking everywhere for about a year now, but have seen nothing suitable), so we invested in a few; so our audiences in the near future will see our new look!

Dec. 13

The big day: our Disney audition! We started out with a yoga class at our beloved Winter Park YMCA, and it was really quite the ticket -- one of the most strenuous and invigorating yoga classes we've ever attended. (And ironically, the teacher emphasized the spiritual side of the discipline more than any other teacher.) After that, we headed down to the rehearsal facility at Animal Kingdom, where the auditions were being conducted.

Now Disney has auditions every week, and generally, they're for a variety of different roles. This time, however, they were looking specifically for characters to be on parade, and so they wanted performers especially strong in movement. And this particular audition turned out to be a cattle call rather than an alligator call. They even put word out, we hear, on the radio; and a van was there from a local hip hop station, with deejays (from what we could see) who were really getting in the way more than anything else. And the turnout for the audition was about half the Orlando phone book, plus other out-of-towners. We arrived an hour early, but even so we were issued numbers 46, 47 and 48. And after walking past the wardrobe issue counter and the performers' lockers, we ended up in a rehearsal area where the other hopefuls were sprawled all over the floor stretching and filling out paperwork. Finally the first 60 applicants (that's us!) were called into a dance studio, and shown a rather simple 16-count routine, which we then demonstrated in groups of 4. We all did a fabulous job, good enough, we were certain, to be considered. But we were, alas, not hired. Zephyr was quite crushed -- he didn't even have a chance to do his Jack Sparrow impersonation, which no doubt would have knocked them dead. And since there is a rule that you can audition once only every 6 months, we won't get another chance until next year. (But we still can be considered for non-performing jobs, though we understand there are probably none available for seasonal workers this year.) Zephyr wanted to go to Downtown Disney to cheer himself up. So we went, and we all ended up going to a movie. Mom and Dad went to see "The Golden Compass" (entertaining but not as satisfying as the book). Zephyr, who'd already seen it, went to "Enchanted" instead.

Dec. 14

Picked up our mail in Kissimmee. (Accent on second syllable -- SEE me rather than KISS me. Around here you will be kissed if you say it wrong! Then we settled into a Panera to catch up on some much needed computer work. Dennis, who's been having some serious issues with his Compaq, is about ready to make it REALLY compact with an emergency repair kit, aka a brick. And Zephyr went to -- surprise -- a movie.

Dec. 15

A cloudy day, a welcome respite from the sweltering 90 degrees that we've been "enjoying" in Florida so far. (Thank heavens we're not here during the summer!) We hear on the news about other parts of the country being smothered by blizzards, and we'd almost trade places with them right now. Especially since a couple of days ago we were attacked by skin pests somewhere (probably either chiggers or no see 'ems) and we've been itching out of our skin as well as sweating out of our skin.

After spending the whole day battling his hydra-headed computer yesterday (a battle that's really been raging for a couple of weeks now), Dennis finally appears to have won by stripping off all the files and programs he'd added to it, then doing a total system recovery, so it's now just like it was when he bought it. Now for the process of restoring the items removed. Ouch.

Tonight Dennis and Kimberly worked at another party, this one at a hotel just across from Universal.

Dec. 16

This morning, Kimberly packed away the sleeping bags, as we obviously wouldn't be needing them this winter in Florida. Tonight, we dug them back out, as the temperature finally cooled to a respectable level during the day. Last night there were thunderstorms and not far away, so we hear, a tornado struck. But we saw no evidence of it. We spent this entire Sunday holed up in a Panera, doing office work.

Dec 17

For today's adventure, we returned to the Gaylord Palms Hotel and Convention Center, where we worked at a party a few days ago. No, we didn't go to work this time -- we went for "Ice!", the massive, ornate exhibit of sculptures made of frozen water. Upon arrival, we met up with another homeschooling RV family the Evans (and our numbers are growing!) of six . At the door, we were issued parkas, which came in quite handy, considering the temperature inside was at a healthy 9 degrees F.

The first order of business was to watch a couple of introductory films that were rather hokey, but informative. We learned, for instance, that the figures were carved by artisans imported from China, where this has been a tradition for about 400 years.

And then it was into the chill, and what we saw inside was quite awe-inspiring. Polar bears, deer, a train, Santa's sleigh, gigantic ice cream and candy, and many other impressively crafted items awaited us -- all fashioned from 400-lb. blocks combined into considerably larger forms, with food dye applied as needed for realistic color. The crowning glory was a large slide that we were able to slide down. It takes about half an hour to tour the entire exhibit, which is just about enough time to get you looking forward to returning to the Florida "winter".

Dec. 18

Having driven up to St. Augustine, we checked into the campground at Anastasia State Park, where we held the first FOTR (Families on the Road) rally a couple of years ago. It's a very nice campground, right by the beach, and very reasonably priced. And now, we learn, you can get online at the cafe/ gift shop at the beach, instead of having to pedal 3 or 4 miles into town.

Dec. 19

Another day at the campground, except for Zephyr, who biked into town. He thought St. Augustine would be a perfect location to do his Jack Sparrow bit. He turned out to be catastrophically mistaken. Taking up his position on historic St. George St. ("the oldest street in America"), he was getting some favorable attention until along came two police officers who threatened to arrest him, then escorted him to their car where they gave him a citation (even after learning he was a minor) in the amount of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for "selling without a permit" in the historic district. Our first impulse, of course, was to fight it in court, since we'll probably be in the area long enough. But upon further investigation, we learned that if the judge should declare him guilty (always a distinct possibility in such matters, no matter how strong the case), this fine could be TRIPLED. Looks like the oldest city in America has retained some of the pre-revolutionary concepts of justice for all. And so, if you ever visit St. Augustine, you should be warned about the cordiality of local officials.

Dec. 20

Another day at Anastasia State Park, this time for all three of us.

Dec. 21

Deja vu -- today looked pretty much like yesterday. Is it really the last day of fall, or Groundhog Day?

Dec. 22

We left Anastasia State Park and headed back up to Jacksonville, where we sought out a Panera to get a better online connection than what they had at Island Joe's.

Dec. 23

Grocery shopping, laundry and a bit more computer time in Jacksonville. The supermarket was full of people stocking up to watch the Jaguars play the Oakland Raiders.

Dec. 24

Still in Jacksonville, we spent half the day online at Panera. Well, it was intended to be half a day, but as always it dragged on a little longer. Later on, we pulled out our 18-inch Christmas tree, which is falling apart, and will be retired this year. And we plugged it into our inverter and placed our meager assortment of presents underneath it, and waited to see if Santa would find his way to our home on wheels.

Dec. 25

After having breakfast, we opened our gifts and then played the CSI board game, which was the gift that made Zephyr ecstatic. Then we had a marathon movie session at the Regal Cinema, beginning with a film version of the Stephen Sondheim musical "Sweeney Todd".

The word "genius" is bandied about all too frequently these days, but if applied to Stephen Sondheim (and it often has been) it's certainly no exaggeration -- it may even be an understatement. Among Broadway songwriters, he's truly in a class by himself; some may have come close to his witty, intricately crafted lyrics on occasion, and others may have approached the depth and inventiveness of his haunting melodies. But nobody has ever been so adept at combining the two. Moreover, he has taken the musical as an art form to a whole new plateau; before he came along, musicals were generally bubbly, pat, and predictable. But he paved the way for comedy with soul and brains -- or, in the present case, gruesome revenge tragedy with soul and brains. Before "Sweeney Todd" premiered some 30 years ago, few would have imagined that such a production could make it. A musical about a vengeance-crazed, throat-slitting barber? With cannibalism involved, no less? Give me a break! But "Sweeney Todd" was yet another Sondheim masterpiece. And we were delighted to see it come to the big screen. For one thing, it might help expose Sondheim's work to the general public instead of just to connoisseurs of the musical. Unlike other Broadway songsmiths, he generally writes (or has written -- at age 77, he's essentially retired) songs that are so firmly integrated into the story that they can't be lifted out of context and recorded for airplay on a Top 40 station. (One of the few exceptions, "Send in the Clowns" from "a Little Night Music", was a smash hit when recorded by Judy Collins in 1976. Ironically, it was written with a deliberately "dumbed down" melody to accommodate a performer of limited vocal capacity.)

The Hollywood version is directed by Tim Burton, whose consistently dark vision makes him the ideal candidate for that task; and the cast is headed by Johnny Depp, one of our very favorite actors, and includes such British notables as Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman and Timothy Spall. Trouble is, none of the above has the kind of vocal power demanded by this project, which comes closer to pure opera than anything else the composer has ever done. Depp in particular is in strange waters; one can see how he'd be a decent rock star, but a Sweeney? Uh-uh. In fact, the only person in the cast who is truly up to the challenge both vocally and dramatically is Sasha Baron Cohen (aka "Borat") in the relatively minor role of Pirelli. Furthermore, Burton lays on the gore just a bit too thick -- no, way, way too thick. Just one explicit shot of a neck being slashed would do quite nicely to get the "point" across and earn kudos for the special effects and makeup crews, thank you. No need to repeat it a dozen times. But perhaps the biggest objection we had was that the music itself was sliced up quite a bit, including the meaty opening number/finale. (Hey, you could read that as "opening number slash finale", get it?) And some of the other songs are shaved a bit as well. Still, despite these problems "Sweeney Todd" is a cut above the average flick.

Our next screening was "I Am Legend", a sci-fi/horror offering that has the world hit by a plague that wipes out the entire population except for Will smith -- only that turns out not to be true; many of the people have just been converted into computer animated flesh-eating zombies who perhaps had been fans of "Sweeney Todd". Okay, next.

The last offering was "Charlie Wilson's War", which we'd heard little about; but we figured with stars like Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and the astoundingly versatile Philip Seymour Hoffman, and a director like Mike Nichols, it couldn't be too bad. And we were awfully glad we made that assumption.

Hanks portrays wilson, a former colorful and unorthodox congressman from Texas who in 1980 undertook the mission of organizing an operation to supply up-to-date weaponry and military training to rebels in Afghanistan against the invasion and brutalization by soviet forces.The Soviet Union had been tottering on the brink of collapse for a long time, and it's more than possible that wilson pushed it over the edge. In any case, it was an amazing feat for several reasons. First of all Wilson, a self-styled "liberal", had to secure that ever-elusive chimera known as bipartisan support, including some indispensable string-pulling by an unlikely friend and constituent: a wealthy, ultra-rightwing Texas socialite (Roberts) who just wants to kill as many commies as possible, and (apparently) convert them to Christianity in the process. Additionally, the equipment had to be non-traceable to the U.S., which meant he had to obtain captured Soviet weapons, which meant eliciting cooperation between enemy nations in order to unite them against a common enemy. Furthermore, he had to maintain a certain covertness about the project, even in Washington; he had to obtain massive funding (that kept inching its way up the scale) while divulging only to a few the specific purposes. (someone quotes President Ronald Reagan as responding to a mention of Afghanistan by saying "Afghanistan? Is that still going on?") Of course, the campaign did have its negative side effects. Afghanistan was left in shambles, and became a festering hotbed of anger, ripe for takeover by the Taliban. Wilson tried to follow up the successful mission by helping to rebuild the ravaged country; but this time, alas, no one listened. To be sure, this is not a documentary, nor even a docudrama, but its historical underpinnings are sound -- even though Wilson was even sleazier in person than he appears on screen, and much of the billion-plus that he raised in aid was skimmed by unscrupulous officials on the receiving end. Above all, it's just a superbly executed piece of cinema in every department, and we wouldn't be surprised if it gets a mention or two from Oscar.

Back at home, we had our christmas dinner. and then we figured hey, what better way to spend Christmas evening than... watching a movie! No, we didn't go back in the theater; Zephyr's gift to his dad was a DVD of "The Simpsons Movie", so we stayed in and watched that. And we were delighted to see that the film is every bit as clever and wickedly satirical as the unique TV series. It includes an outlandish plot, a number of side-splitting gags both verbal and visual, and even a scene involving a visit to the Oval Office, where President Schwarzenegger dismisses an opportunity to review a few reports by commenting "I was elected to lead, not to read."

Okay, so we overindulged today in the audiovisual department. But what's a holiday for except to do things you don't get to do very often? May all of you have that opportunity --Happy Holidays to everyone!

Dec. 26

Now that our molting Christmas tree and its paper mache ornaments that we handmade when Zephyr was about 5, and the Mardi Gras beads from Mobile, AL that we also adorned it with, have all been consigned to the dumpster (ornaments were saved), life has resumed.

Driving back down to St. Augustine, we dropped in at the police department to inquire about the possibility of getting a court date to fight Zephyr's citation. The clerk couldn't tell us whether a date would be available within the time frame we'll be around, but she gave us the city attorney's number, so we called and left a message for her.

In the meantime, we did some online work at a little Mediterranean cafe where an articulate four-year-old boy named Zack (the son or grandson of one of the owners) kept us entertained. While we were there, the City Attorney called back and haughtily informed us that we really didn't have any grounds to contest the citation; and furthermore, we wouldn't be able to obtain a date in court for at least a couple of months. So we went back to the police department and Zephyr paid the fine so we could shake the dust from our sandals and get out of this town that doesn't seem terribly eager to keep us around.

Continued driving until we were back in Orlando, where we patronized a YMCA we'd never been to before. Along the way, we stopped at several garages looking for someone to do a front-end alignment and/or oil change. But lordy, it's been difficult these days to find anyone who'll touch a vehicle this size -- which really isn't that big!

Dec. 27

Picked up a shipment of Christmas packages from Kimberly's parents, and had another little gift-opening party. (Kimberly's mom makes great fudge, and always sends some along.) Then, after more attempts to find some place willing to tinker with our vehicle, we went to Camping World to pick up a new toilet seat, which has been broken for some time. This was the only store we've found that keeps these items in stock; generally you have to order them, which doesn't work out very well if you're not in one place for long.

We also found an official Disney ticket outlet where Zephyr could purchase Disney tickets for himself and his friend Cassia, who'll be coming to visit from Massachusetts soon. He also got a ticket for Universal, which is also on his priority list of business to be taken care of. This was a bona fide discount ticket outlet for Disney and other attractions; most of the discount ticket booths you see are in fact there to promote timeshare sales, for which we hardly are in the market.

Dec. 28

Zephyr decided to hit Universal today. Mom and Dad took care of office work, and Dad also patched up a crack in the top front window that has been there for some time (courtesy of a rock from a gravel truck) and has been threatening to develop into a fullblown spider web.

Dec. 29

Our vehicle has had an intermittent coolant leak, so we decided to see if we could get it into a shop today. To our astonishment, Classic Chevrolet in Altamonte Springs was able to fit it in, even though this is a weekend before a holiday. (Actually, Dennis was the only one astonished, Kimberly is happily to gloating "I told you so".) And they can take care of the alignment problem as well. Plus, their waiting room has outlets for computers as well as Wi-Fi. We're home! We spent several hours happily camped out in their waiting room with our laptops. Unfortunately, repairing the leak problem requires replacing the water pump, which has to be ordered, so we have to come back in a few days. Hmmm... maybe that's not so bad, given the customer-friendly waiting room. And an added benefit of coming to a Chevrolet place is that when they looked up our vehicle in the database, they found that it was covered by a recall of some doodad related to the transmission (which we've never had any trouble with -- yet) so they're going to take care of that as well.

Dec. 30

We officially declared this last Sunday of the year National Do Nothing Day, which seemed like an overdue privilege after all the days we've spent running hither and yon. As it turns out we didn't exactly do nothing (Is that really possible?) but close enough. Spent the day at Borders Bookstore (and Zephyr put in quite a bit of time twanging on guitars at the Guitar Center). We all went to movies -- K and Z to "Juno" and K to "The Great Debaters"; D to the new "National Treasure" movie, and we enjoyed them all.

Dec. 31

Worked out at the Winter Park YMCA, which was so incredibly busy that for the first time, we had to park by the park a block away. Afterward, we went to the nearby Whole Foods store to take advantage of their microwave for lunch; noticed that police had roped off the bank across the street -- it appeared there had been a robbery.

Tonight D and K worked at yet another party, this one at a posh country club where Tiger Woods plays -- some people at the party were talking about having played with him earlier in the day, between discussions of the various states in which they maintain homes.

And that's it for 2007.

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