Doing Disney

by Dennis Goza

January 2003

For the past three years, we've been planning to spend the winter, or at least part of it, in Florida. (We've already done our time in the blizzard states.) This year, it finally came to pass. We marketed to schools in the Sunshine State, secured several bookings for January, and headed south after the first of the year, to Act!vated state number 41.

One reason we've been wanting to go there, of course, is to visit Walt Disney World in Orlando. While we were making Los Angeles our quasi-home for a couple of years, we obtained year passes to Disneyland to celebrate Zephyr's 6th birthday. And we certainly took advantage of it during the ensuing year, going at least once a week. (Kimberly and I even went without him once when he was visiting his grandma and grandpa!) So we'd all been wanting to have a Disney adventure again, before Zephyr gets to be any less a kid.

We had almost two weeks to spend in Orlando before we started our performance schedule, so we decided to purchase 5-day passes, giving us a full day in each of the 4 theme parks, plus an additional day to review the highlights in each of them. We bought tickets online the day before our first visit, and saved 12 dollars per ticket. They were still supercallifragilistically expensive, more than twice what we paid for a full year at Disneyland. Throw in a new flywheel for the van, a new axle for the trailer, and new publicity photographs (Orlando was the only town with a good selection of suitable photographers that we were going to be in long enough to make use of one) and you have a vacation expense account of biblical proportions, at least by our spartan standards.

But vacation is the operative word. I'd be scratching my head until the next Ice Age trying to remember the last time we had an honest-to-goodness, work-free, self-indulgent vacation. (Not counting occasional day trips.) So we were certainly long overdue. Even so, we didn't know if we could handle so many days of relentless recreation back-to-back, so we spaced them out to allow recuperation between outings. We also had to take care of some business, so I guess it really was a working vacation after all, but who's quibbling?

Fortunately, Kimberly had done a good deal of research at bookstores, and determined the best days to attend each park to avoid the crowds. She'd even mapped out an itinerary of what attractions we should visit in what order. Sometimes it pays to be married to a Libra.

Our first day, a Monday, was spent at Epcot (Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow). And our first stop in Epcot was Test Track, a ride that mimics the road tests to which new vehicles are subjected---with us serving as crash test dummies. It includes a stretch of very fast "driving", the fastest speed of any Disney ride. We had a good time getting our hair ruffled by the wind, and returned to this ride several times.

The strange thing is, that once we finished the ride, we found ourselves in an honest-to-goodness General Motors showroom. That's right---you can pay hundreds of smackers to come to Epcot and browse through an automobile dealership---which you can do at home for free. What's even stranger is that many people actually do it. Sadly, this was typical of the blatant commercialism we found all too frequently at Epcot, and it was just about the only drawback to an otherwise wonderful facility.

Okay, okay, I'm well aware that somebody has to pay the bills, and I certainly have no objection to corporate sponsors getting in a little plug now and again to let you know just who that somebody is. But at Epcot it was more than a plug; it was the cart that consistently got placed before the horse. A recorded message, for example, that announced the imminent beginning of "Illuminations", the grand fireworks/lightworks display that concludes each evening in the park, doesn't end with "brought to you by GE" ; instead, it begins with, "because GE brings good things to life".

This kind of subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) salesmanship is more prevalent at Epcot than at the other parks, because Epcot is built around the technology of the future, and naturally there is a need to provide information about how that technology can be acquired now or later. But some exhibits, such as the demonstration of a home theatre designed by Lutron, seemed to exist for no other reason than to make a sale.

Still, there was plenty to marvel at; one of my favorite things was "The Land", which included a boat tour through a greenhouse, where Disney grows an astonishing variety of fruits, vegetables and ornamental plants, along with fish and other marine animals---providing food for Disney's many restaurants. This project is being conducted in cooperation with NASA among others, because it's a step toward learning to live "up there". The plants are grown vertically, along lines stretched from the ceiling to small containers of potting soil below, to make maximum use of space.

In addition to the technology display, there is another segment of the park suggesting a trip around the world, with simulations of various "countries" situated around an enormous lagoon. With employees who actually hail from the respective countries they represent, it's like strolling around the globe within the space of a few blocks. We bought Zephyr a "passport" in the first nation we stopped in (Mexico) and he had it stamped in each of the other nations, as well as receiving a hand-written greeting in the prevailing language.

These enclaves of foreign culture also feature the best bet for decent food to be found in the Disney parks, unless you're willing to spend 26 bucks a head for a gourmet meal in a somewhat elegant restaurant (also in this part of Epcot). Walt Disney World is not a good place to get hungry if you're a vegetarian, or even just halfway concerned about healthy eating. There are plenty of hot dogs, hamburgers and sweets, but only in a couple of places did I notice a veggie burger on the menu. (A stand in the Africa section of Animal Kingdom, which I'll get to in a moment, did actually offer fresh fruit.) Fortunately, we came prepared with a backpack full of healthy snacks---which drew some covetous comments from the security guards who always search your bags thoroughly at the gate these days. We also, of course, brought our own water bottles instead of paying three bucks each inside.

But spending a nine-hour day cavorting about an amusement park can key up quite an appetite. So on a couple of occasions we exhausted our stores and still craved more. It was then that we discovered some of the ethnic cafes had rather decent grub. In particular, we were grateful for the Tangerine Café in Morocco, which had a pretty tasty vegetarian platter featuring such Middle Eastern favorites as hummus and tabouli.

The last thing on the Epcot agenda was a 9:00 pm presentation of "Illuminations", which is mounted from about 40 barges of various sizes positioned in the water. It was quite impressive. But we discovered that we were wise to bring along earplugs. The decibel level for this performance---and a number of other Disney presentations---seemed designed to be accessible to the hearing-impaired, and to produce more hearing-impaired to be accessible to.

We had to use the next couple of days to take care of business, including our photo session and our auto repair session. But we also took the time to drop in at a place called Pirate Island for one of the best miniature golf courses we've seen. (Zephyr made a hole-in-one to win a free game for next year!)

On Thursday, we used day number two of our passes for Animal Kingdom. This was the biggest surprise to me, because I've never been much of an animal person, even though some of my best friends are animals. I expected Animal Kingdom to be just a glorified zoo; I should have known better, given my extensive exposure to the Disney imagination.

In keeping with our philosophy of hitting the most popular draws before the lines develop, we stopped in first at the Kilimanjaro Safari, and were able to hop right aboard. In fact, we never had to wait more than about 5 minutes in line---maybe 10 on a couple of occasions---on any of our 5 days, thanks to our careful planning. Well okay, it also helped to make use of the Fast Pass, an idea whose time has more than come. If you don't want to wait in a lengthy queue, you insert your admission ticket into a machine and receive a pass to return in an hour or so, when you can go to the head of the line. It's line-hopping made legal---and sensible---and it probably saved us half an hour at least once or twice. The odd thing is that more people don't take advantage of it; I saw people in lines when the wait time posted on the monitor was 30 minutes or more. I guess waiting in line is a habit that some people find hard to break.

But getting back to the Safari, we rode in a large all-terrain vehicle through a realistic African landscape populated with elephants, rhinos, giraffes, alligators, and all the other usual suspects. And like most other Disney attractions, this one has something "go wrong" to throw a little unexpected drama at you. This was one of our favorite attractions, and we returned to it three more times--- different animals were on the prowl at different times.

Animal Kingdom also featured an indoor ride called Dinosaur---which, with its bumpy course, oversized animatronics and special effects in dim lighting, was the closest thing to the Indiana Jones ride we enjoyed at Disneyland, but which we were disappointed to see missing here.

Our next Disney day was Sunday, and it was designated for MGM. I had concerns about going there on a weekend and finding a huge crowd, but my resident guide assured my that her research indicated Sunday was a good day to attend because all the tourists would be headed home. She was sort of right; it would not have been busy at all, except that the annual Disney Marathon was scheduled for that day, and so not only was it a little more crowded than we expected, but we arrived to find hundreds of racers sprinting right through the middle of the park, cheered on by several Disney characters---including a hilariously sardonic Evil Queen from Snow White who yelled to one lagging runner, "Get a move on--- no wonder you're coming in last!"

The atmosphere of MGM was strangely familiar. Having spent a couple of years in the Los Angeles area working in the film industry, we recognized the look of Hollywood restored to its heyday, and then some. The film studios, the art deco storefronts, the Crossroads of the World tower, and even the Brown Derby looked newer and more elegant than we'd ever seen them before. This is not the Hollywood that is, or even the Hollywood that was, but the Hollywood that never could be, except in Hollywood's gussied-up portrait of itself. It's the Hollywood of Ronald Reagan rather than "Sunset Boulevard", but one would neither expect nor hope for otherwise in a Disney park.

The first attraction we headed for (we knew it was popular, and would have a long line as the day wore on) was the Rock'N'Rollercoaster. This is an indoor rollercoaster patterned after a speeding limousine on the L.A. freeways---a terrifying concept if ever there was one---accompanied by the music of Aerosmith---which, we were pleased to note, was played at a decent volume. And what a ride it was! Our experience with other Disney rides, which were all decidedly mild, left us quite unprepared for this. Unlike other rollercoasters, which have a slow climb uphill before the fall, this one rocketed out of the dock at high speed into immediate loops and corkscrews. that had the teenage girls screaming in chorus. We immediately rode it twice more, and would return a few more times later.

Next door was the Tower of Terror, which both intrigued us and filled us with trepidation. The concept is a decrepit multi-storied hotel which one enters and then gets onto an elevator that....well, does something scary, but we weren't sure exactly what. I was afraid it was too much like the "vertical drop" rides I'd seen in other amusement parks; they lift you up about 200 feet, and then just let you drop. With my acrophobia, it doesn't sound like a particularly good time---especially when (as I have seen happen) the seat gets stuck at the top for several minutes. We decided to pass up this thrill for the time being, and reserve it for consideration in the future.

Next on the itinerary was a tour of the animation studio. Yes, they really do some of the animation here for their films. But since this was Sunday, the animation "elves" were not working today. This was one of our few instances of poor planning, but we figured we'd just come back during the week and take the tour again. We learned that it easily can take 5 years or more to produce an animated feature---in fact, "Treasure Planet" was TEN years in the making. But now that all the animators use computers in one way or another, that speeds up the process, right? Wrong! While computers certainly do expand animation capabilities, they also, we were told, actually INCREASE the time required to complete a project. I always knew those contraptions were deceptive!

The studio, by the way, was working on a feature scheduled for release in November, and tentatively titled "Bears". Hopefully, they'll be able to come up with a more imaginative title before November. They're also working on "In Search Of Nemo" and "Home On The Range". Our guide was a young animator with whom we chatted a bit after lagging behind the rest of the group. Zephyr, our own aspiring animator/filmmaker, talked shop with him and even got his business card.

While MGM did not have the Indiana Jones ride I mentioned, it does have the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, which is well worth seeing. Set in an enormous amphitheatre, the show is built around the conceit of the audience being able to witness the filming of stunt scenes from "Raiders Of The Lost Ark". The performance begins with a Harrison Ford "stunt double" doing some solo demonstrations of a couple of movie scenes---including dodging spikes that shoot up from the floor, and out-running a gargantuan boulder. Then the set is rolled away to reveal another one, the marketplace scene in which Harrison Ford and Karen Allen tangle with a band of assassins. The grand fight spectacle involves a cast of about 20 acrobatically skilled opponents who engage the two principle performers in quite a battle. And just for good measure, there is a vehicle crash and explosion. Oh yes, and to cap it all off, there's the famous fight scene against a Nazi mechanic who gets a really close look at the propeller of an airplane. The scenes are augmented with extras from the audience (Zephyr would have volunteered had he been old enough), but I suspect the real purpose of this inclusion is to help sneak in a clever bit involving a "plant". I won't say more, because I don't want to spoil a great surprise.

MGM also houses a number of memorabilia from Walt Disney's life, career and business that I found interesting, including a reconstruction of his office using the actual furnishings, and props from the numerous movies and TV series. The one thing that, for some reason, left the most lasting impression on me was an anecdote related on a placard next to an exhibit of Disney merchandise. It seems that one day Walt and (as I recall) his brother Roy entered a drugstore and noticed that their merchandise was displayed on a bottom shelf, so they began rearranging things to put it on the top. When a salesperson asked, "May I help you?", Walt replied, "No thanks, we'll be done in just a few minutes." That, somehow, seems to represent the essence of "Uncle Walt".

Our last stop at MGM was "Fantasmic", a spectacle staged in a huge amphitheatre near a lagoon. This was essentially the same as the "Fantasmic" in Disneyland, consisting of lighting effects, fireworks, and costumed characters on barges. We staked out our rail-side seats about an hour in advance, and Kimberly plopped down to rest and wait while Zephyr and I went for one last fling on the Rock'N'Rollercoaster. It took much longer than we expected, because there was a lengthy shutdown of the ride due to technical problems. We were next in line when things came to a halt; the people who had just loaded onto the waiting cars had to get off and wait too.

Okay, so on our fourth Disney day, we at last made it to the big enchilada: The Magic Kingdom itself. This was our first time on the monorail---you have to take some form of transit from the parking lot, because it's a couple of miles away from the front gate. This time we didn't spend a full day---only until mid-afternoon. Having put in so much time in Anaheim already, we were thoroughly familiar with nearly all the attractions, so we just gave them the once-over for old time's sake. It's still fun to ride the magic teacups, no matter if you're a two-foot kid or a six-foot kid. While on the Winnie-The-Pooh ride, we experienced yet another breakdown. After we had remained in our seats for about 10 minutes, attendants came and led us out, where we were issued VIP passes to jump to the head of the line for another attraction.

One thing that I'd really been curious about trying again was Space Mountain. While Kimberly and Zephyr had never been to Florida before, I was in Orlando in 1976, under circumstances I'd just as soon forget. But at least I was able to visit The Magic Kingdom, and I rode Space Mountain at that time. I found it to be quite a thrill; but years later when I hopped on Space Mountain in Disneyland, it seemed much tamer than I'd remembered. So all these years I'd been wondering whether the two rides really are drastically different, or my memory was just pulling my leg. Well, now I know: the two Space Mountains are virtually identical. I guess the only difference was that I was much younger back then---and had never before ridden a rollercoaster in the dark.

We saw a group of prospective Disney employees undergoing training/orientation, and Zephyr, noticing that they were discussing rollercoasters, couldn't resist dropping in on the class for a few minutes and impressing them with his own knowledge of the subject. They were quite tolerant of him, as one would expect from Disney workers; we've never met one yet who didn't have a bubbly disposition.

After doing everything we wanted at Magic Kingdom, we took a ferry to the parking lot, and then the monorail back to Epcot, where we repeated some activities until 9:00, when we watched "Illuminations" for the third time---and this time we found the best vantage point yet: on the stone steps leading up to "Canada".

On our last day, we returned to Animal Kingdom, MGM, and Epcot. At MGM we saw the Indiana Jones Spectacular again--- it had a totally different cast---and we took our second tour of the animation studio, this time with a chance to see the animators laboring over their drawings and computers. Oh yes, we also finally ascended into the Tower Of Terror, and it was much more fun than we ever hoped. The brief mood-setting orientation video is designed to look like the introduction to an episode of the old "Twilight Zone". After four times through, I'm still not sure whether the Rod Serling on the video is an expertly edited version of the real thing, or an extremely good imitator. Anyway, the elevator did not, as I feared it would, simply drop to the ground. Instead, it bobbed up and down in an unpredictable yo-yo pattern, giving us at times the feeling of sheer weightlessness. We rode it twice back-to-back, and then Kimberly announced that she couldn't handle it anymore because it was giving her head butterflies. But Zephyr and I---the ones who had serious reservations about riding it in the first place---went back twice more. Zephyr had learned in his research that the computer programs the "elevator" to follow a different series of moves each time, so each ride is more or less unique. My four trials of the experience indicate that he is right. By the way, while the monitors in front of other rides always indicated that the wait time was 5 minutes or 10 or 30 or whatever, the one in front of Tower Of Tower always said 13 minutes.

Well, that wrapped up our first visit to Disney World--- and at the prices we had to pay (did I mention it was EXPENSIVE?) it just might be the last. Next year when we return to Orlando, we want to visit Universal Studios---Zephyr has a Spiderman obsession these days, and Universal has a Spiderman ride that's getting some fabulous reviews. But who knows--- no matter what the price, when you've been to Disney once, it's hard to stay away forever.